Social Obligations

Yes, today is a day where I do not, in any way, desire to function like a normal human being should. The fact that yesterday and the day before were equally as underachieving is irrelevant. Today I am remaining in my Care Bear pyjamas and only leaving my bed to gather food for my nest.

It seems the universe would have it that every time this is my attitude, it is just then that I am given social obligations. I couldn't have random encounters with strangers while I looked my best, could I? Of course not, that would be no fun. I was leaving my cocoon of plush covers and interneting to grab a snack when the doorbell rang.

The horror.

It was bad enough that I looked like I had spent the night crawling through the gutter, but I certainly wasn't prepared to embarrass myself further by attempting to speak French with my limited knowledge of the language. I was positive it would end up with me just staring at him, hyperventilating, trying to understand the strange sounds coming out of his mouth. It usually did. This social encounter was surely going to traumatize me for life.

I had to act fast.

I eyed my snack longingly. There was no time. Empty handed, I picked up my feet and shot up the stairs like a catnip-infused feline. Peaking through the curtain on my bedroom's window, I waited until I saw the truck disappear before daring to breathe.

This isn't the first time this has happened. I am both introverted and extroverted, and only the new day's sun can decide which side of my personality will overcome the other in the Battle of Social Responsiveness. For no reason whatsoever, I can go from laughing with strangers in a crowded room to (literally) running away from other human beings with panic in my throat. As there is no warning for this shift in personality, it can cause for some quite uncomfortable situations. The most uncomfortable, of course, being during my attempts to flirt.

Things would be going splendidly when all of a sudden my brain would decide, Woah there, going a little fast aren't you? Let's slow things down a little. There you go, now you don't know how to speak. In fact, now you get frustrated by the notion of speaking! I'll make you want him to leave, just for good measure. There, that cooled things down a little. Don't worry, I'm only looking out for you.

Unfortunately, the next day I would go back to wanting to speak with him until my lips fell off. You can see how sometimes opposites don't attract when they exist within the same person.

Somehow I have kept some pretty sturdy friendships despite my fluctuating personality. I may run from the ring of a doorbell, discontinue a conversation mid-sentence, and decide every so often that I prefer the company of my cat, but I genuinely quite like people.

Mostly.